When the Fire Cools
Eel [Names have been changed to protect the identity of the actual person] was conversing with me on MSN Messenger yesterday night and we touched on the topic of Passion. We received an email from Jelly [yes it's another nick] confirming the practise session for Jazz this Saturday at NUS from 3-5pm. I shall try to recall the conversation as close as I can remember -
Eel : Saturday again, Dance. *sigh*
Me : Why? You make it sound like as if its almost a chore.
Eel : Well it is, dont understand but I used to love dance a lot
Me : Is there some obligation you need to fufil dats why you're not very willing?
Eel : Perhaps, my studies have not been good and I need to concentrate but the constant trainings and preparations for concerts and shows are not giving me enough time.
Me : Well, perhaps you need to ask yourself are you prepared to commit at this level? Being passionate about something and willing to take up huge responsibilities would mean lots of sacrifices, social life is the first
thing that comes to mind.
Eel : But my social life is already revolving around the dance group and my school and nothing else.
Me : I can understand the intense pressure you're facing, while I'd say P**** has placed high hopes on you all you must understand that by becoming Dance Head follows big responsibilities. It won't be about just following your passion anymore but a need to excel and set an example.
OK fine, some words in the conversation have been changed but this is the main gist and what follows later are mainly small chatter.
Indeed, when we start out to do something passion drives us far and ahead and we push ourselves to constantly improve. Then we get recognition [perhaps] and others start to take our achievements as an example. In the process we get pressure from others' expectations and whether we like it or not we are now having an Obligation to excel and achieve even greater heights or face disappointing others. Great Expectations are always partnered with great pressure. However, I'd like to introduce a philosophy that an ex-teacher has taught me before.
"It's not a problem if you don't think it is."
Catchy and nice to hear, my interpretation is that to cure the effects of great pressure and you need to empower yourself with great confidence and great courage. How many times have we faltered in our progress because of a lack of courage to push ourselves further? It is definitely clear when achieving greater heights involves making sacrifices, how much courage must we muster before we can take the next step? To live under scrutiny and constantly? Like a singer or actor who must constantly improve their skills so that the world would not leave them behind. How much pressure can we take before the initial passion dies down and we realise that in order to continue doing this we must either take on the responsibility of either pushing ourselves with unparalled determination or simply allow our free spirit to take us to the next interest which can fuel our interest and passion all over again?
Interesting - Allow me to compare this with some happening all around us. It's everywhere and yet not seen. It's something that happens to us at least once in a lifetime because we're all empowered with this special gift of emotions. It's called Relationships. The initial passion of discovery! Ah.. Like a fresh wind caressing your face and pulling you closer, you yearn for more and you explore. The momentum picks and soon you're spreading your arms welcoming the strong breeze circling every part of your body. Your hair, eyes, chin and even the legs. It exhilarates you and leaves you gasping for breath. Then comes the choice - How much courage and determination will it take before you take the next step? To brave whatever debris that might get caught in the strong breeze and cause pain and injury? We can refer to them as 'setbacks' in life. Just how much can we take before we yell "Stop!" to the strong wind? And when it dies down, will it be as easy to raise the wind again? Knowing now of the possible debris that might come your way?
Eel : Saturday again, Dance. *sigh*
Me : Why? You make it sound like as if its almost a chore.
Eel : Well it is, dont understand but I used to love dance a lot
Me : Is there some obligation you need to fufil dats why you're not very willing?
Eel : Perhaps, my studies have not been good and I need to concentrate but the constant trainings and preparations for concerts and shows are not giving me enough time.
Me : Well, perhaps you need to ask yourself are you prepared to commit at this level? Being passionate about something and willing to take up huge responsibilities would mean lots of sacrifices, social life is the first
thing that comes to mind.
Eel : But my social life is already revolving around the dance group and my school and nothing else.
Me : I can understand the intense pressure you're facing, while I'd say P**** has placed high hopes on you all you must understand that by becoming Dance Head follows big responsibilities. It won't be about just following your passion anymore but a need to excel and set an example.
OK fine, some words in the conversation have been changed but this is the main gist and what follows later are mainly small chatter.
Indeed, when we start out to do something passion drives us far and ahead and we push ourselves to constantly improve. Then we get recognition [perhaps] and others start to take our achievements as an example. In the process we get pressure from others' expectations and whether we like it or not we are now having an Obligation to excel and achieve even greater heights or face disappointing others. Great Expectations are always partnered with great pressure. However, I'd like to introduce a philosophy that an ex-teacher has taught me before.
"It's not a problem if you don't think it is."
Catchy and nice to hear, my interpretation is that to cure the effects of great pressure and you need to empower yourself with great confidence and great courage. How many times have we faltered in our progress because of a lack of courage to push ourselves further? It is definitely clear when achieving greater heights involves making sacrifices, how much courage must we muster before we can take the next step? To live under scrutiny and constantly? Like a singer or actor who must constantly improve their skills so that the world would not leave them behind. How much pressure can we take before the initial passion dies down and we realise that in order to continue doing this we must either take on the responsibility of either pushing ourselves with unparalled determination or simply allow our free spirit to take us to the next interest which can fuel our interest and passion all over again?
Interesting - Allow me to compare this with some happening all around us. It's everywhere and yet not seen. It's something that happens to us at least once in a lifetime because we're all empowered with this special gift of emotions. It's called Relationships. The initial passion of discovery! Ah.. Like a fresh wind caressing your face and pulling you closer, you yearn for more and you explore. The momentum picks and soon you're spreading your arms welcoming the strong breeze circling every part of your body. Your hair, eyes, chin and even the legs. It exhilarates you and leaves you gasping for breath. Then comes the choice - How much courage and determination will it take before you take the next step? To brave whatever debris that might get caught in the strong breeze and cause pain and injury? We can refer to them as 'setbacks' in life. Just how much can we take before we yell "Stop!" to the strong wind? And when it dies down, will it be as easy to raise the wind again? Knowing now of the possible debris that might come your way?
I had this particular relationship, one that was so strong it "swept me off my feet." I lost control and allowed the wind to take me where it pleases. At times the wind carries me high and I feel like I'm at the top of the world but the next moment the wind dies and I crash to the earth, bruised and bleeding. Full of rage I roared against the wind but to no avail because I am powerless against the wind. Then the wind comes back in full force, caressing me and once again I am borne high. I forgot about all the past injuries because the wind cools the skin and dries the bleeding, then it dies again and once again I crash.
It continued for 2 years and for that period of time I know not where I come from or where I should be. I was drifting from place to place with no sense of direction and time. I do know what I should do or how I should plan because... I can't. Then one fine day, I got bruised so badly from one particular fall I decided that enough was enough. I dug my feet into the ground and stayed put. When the wind came again expecting to sweep me off my feet it couldn't, the wind got confused and changed direction attempting different angles to uproot me. It caressed, cajoled, circled endlessly whispering in my ears tempting me with the high feeling again. I cried and broke down but I adamantly refused to be borne away with no direction again, ever. The wind became impatient and moved on. Suddenly there was a stillness in the air, like a vacuum in the very fabric of air itself. I felt stifled and the yearning came back hundred-fold. Like a drug addict being deprived of his cocaine for the very first time, I beat my fists to my chest and bellowed out my frustrations but the wind has moved on heedless of my cries. Took me a while before I could muster enough strength to uproot myself and move on to a new pasture. Now, in this pasture I have new winds of different natures encircling me. Gentle yet supportive - I call them family and friends. Once in a blue moon I still prick my ears to catch the familiar call of that particular wind. No longer of yearning but more of a curiousity of where that wind has gone.
*Whew*
That almost sounded.. poetic. Haahaha. No guys, I'm fine. Geez, just a re-collection ok?
*Whew*
That almost sounded.. poetic. Haahaha. No guys, I'm fine. Geez, just a re-collection ok?
posted by Inarticulate at 1:46 PM
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