Distant Responsibility

Questions and more questions - How are you getting on with your life? Did you manage to catch ~~~? What's happening in your life right now?

Hmm. Makes me feel like I'm responsible for all the answers that these questions posed. Truth is - I don't. Rather I should not be responsible for answers to all these questions. Just how often does someone really step into your life and change it? And makes it change it for the better? Or will you go one big circle and at the supposed "ending" realise we have never really moved much at all?

Met up with an old friend last Sunday. It was a weird feeling because we've known each other for almost.. 6 years? Yet we have never met each other before. We chatted each other up on the IRC which was pretty much the rage back in year 2000 and even before that. What followed was emails, Yahoo Messengers and only more recently Hotmail Messenger. Recent months was the proposed meet-up but met with quite a few clashes in timings due to other committments like her work and my own activity schedules. So when we met up last sunday there was some slight apprehension on whether we would face each other with horrible silences. Thankfully, we chatted just like we normally do on MSN though the first time we gazed at each other there was this slight pause.

"Hi" She said
"Hey, you're right on time." I replied.

She laughed, ice broken and the conversation started flowing shortly.

Just like so many MSN conversations.

Had a short chat with my SA Junior last nite, spoke of family backgrounds and of what we prefer to do in our leisure times. Spoke of some sad moments and of friends. It was short though not too short but nevertheless, it did feel good. Warmth was the feeling I could describe and so was the temperature of my body which subsequently broke out into a small sweat. DAMN. NYP should really look into their infrastructure and build more cooling places for leisure chats. Or perhaps it was just the stillness of the air which did not make the best conditions for small chats.


The feeling of responsibility becomes distant
Should we simply commit because it is morally right
Or we simply follow the heart
Even though it might not make the best decision

When the strands of attachments loosen
and paths diverge
When we are no longer able to stand still
and simply look at each other

Obligated Obligations Obligatory
Not the most heartening decision
but perhaps the most accepted choice
ignorance of the feelings


I can't. I can't. I just can't.