Alternate Meanings

I was chatting with an old friend yesterday and we came to realise that sometimes out in the working world certain terms offered aren't just what they really seem to be. Let me quote some examples -

"I'm a very meritocratic person"
What they might mean is - You don't perform, out you go asshole.

"We believe in democracy of opinions"
What they might mean is - We [supervisors] can speak freely and you just need to listen to them.

"We can offer you the expected salary"
What they might mean is - Work your ass off and no overtime pay including weekends as well and yes you might be able to get your salary on time.

"You can expect attractive remunerations and benefits"
What they might mean is - Claim for any medical fees beyond $XXX and the rest is on your own.

"You should be able to enjoy a 5-day work week"
What they might mean is - Even if you have to come back on weekends to finish up your work you will do that without complaints.

"Rest assured we will understand that you're studying night courses"
What they might mean is - Just make sure you finish your stuff before you leave, even if it means staying until 9pm and your class is from 7-9pm.

"Do you have any medical history?"
What they might mean is - If you're not healthy enough to slog for us then.. next!

"What is your expected salary range?"
What they might mean is - You had better not be too greedy or.. next! [again; fine I shall not use this line anymore]

"We would take your offer into consideration"
What they might mean is - You just sit in one corner and freeze your butt off waiting for our reply.


And of course.. this one had the deepest impression on me!

"Salary is negotiable"
What they mean is - The lower the better.

Disclaimer: Comments are not to be generalised.

Singapore Dance Theatre's production titled "The Little Mermaid" on 10th July. Absolutely Lovely. Sigh~