Flashback

A recent post by Jo which wondered about how we could experience the after-effects of our dreams initiated certain flashbacks of this recurring dream that I've had consistently throughout the years.

I was running through the walkways of my old HDB flat [think the really old 3-room flat kind] and I could definitely taste the fear that was stuck on the tip of my tongue. The pulsating heartbeat was so strong I could feel my temples ready to burst with the rapid vibrations, like a consistent beating of drums. Pounding. Pounding.

I just could not recollect what I was running from but whatever it was, it was striking fear deep into the very recesses of my soul. I was running, jumping from the stairs ala Yamakazi-style. Running for my dear life though I just can't understand why I didn't even look back. Think classical horror movies [Psycho or Friday 13th] where the victim is simply running and running without even daring to look back.

Was it because I was dead sure how the horror looked like? Who was it? Or what was it? Why was I even running in the first place? Why the walkway of my old HDB flat? Incidentally I remembered a scene from Batman which starred Val Kilmer [cant remember which part of the series it was] and he was confiding to this lady psychiatrist about the flashback of supposedly repressed memories. Is mine similar to his? Otherwise why would this dream replay itself continously over the years with intervals ranging from a several weeks to several months? It replayed itself so much till the extent I actually remembered certain details after I woke up.

I tried once to go back to my old HDB to try to understand why but that block had been upgraded so it didn't look the same anymore. I went to the exact same walkway but the feeling just wasn't the same.

However, it was the ending that spooked me till today. I would be running from.. whatever it was. Through different walkways into different stairways and I would always end up at the same wall of my old unit's walkway. A momentary pause, not sure whether to catch my breath or to have one last thought - And I would jump. Yes, I would simply climb up over the edge of the wall and literally just jump off. Like with absolute conviction that there is no other way left.

I could feel the wind roaring past my ears and my heart threatening to burst because of the sudden increase in gravity. It would pound like mad now and the vision below becomes blurred because of the strength of the wind coming against me and instantly dehydrating my pupils.

I never saw the ground. I would just wake up with cold sweat and a pounding headache and a slight heartache.

Thats how many times I had the dream till I could recount the details.

Tingly feeling of hair rising on its ends? =)