Focus

Of late it appears I'm not having enough focus on the things that I want to do. I want to start on thorough revisions for my upcoming exams in May yet I'm still constantly bogged down by work. I want to give myself sufficient time to re-arrange my room so that my notes can readily available yet I'm constantly messing it up every now and then.

To make a headstart I made a decision - I tendered my resignation. My official last day will be 12th April 2005. Yes finally after a period of 3 years of slogging part-time studies and full-time work I have thrown in the towel. To some friends who have known since the day I started my studies were presently shocked because I've been like a role model to them. Juggling studies and work and dance all at the same time. But things have taken a new direction. I'm no longer just a trainee in my dance class but a senior whom juniors have looked to me for directions and advice when they are in doubt. I've taken a more active role in the recent 4 months where I would be performing in concerts, taking juniors for basic classes and helping to develop a junior hiphop group. In short, my role in my dance activities have increased almost two to threefold. With an upcoming performance in June rehearsals have already started and soon preparations will be made for the August Competition as well.

Some days I can hardly wake up without feeling dead-beat and dragging myself to work. Like an automobile that has already emptied its main fuel tank and simply drags itself along the journey using fuel reserves. On some days I would get so tired that I would simply take some fruits and take a nap instead. Firstly I get to replenish some rest back into my body. Secondly I get to have some peace from the daily chaos due to our seasonal peak period where not one day passes without having at least one nasty customer who starts yelling at the top of their voices demanding their requests to be fufilled. The tranquility of the Mail Room suddenly seemed immaculate and zen-like.

Recently I have started using my MP3 player to play soothing music while I nap, it helps a great deal and I do believe just living on fruits for lunch actually contributed to a certain amount in making the body refreshed. Friend of mine once told me that the daily consumption of our food is filled with toxins and hence anti-oxidants like water and fruits help to cleanse the body of these toxins so that the body feels refreshed once again. So by reducing the amount of food intake I'm actually cleansing my body thoroughly [I hope]. At least I ensure I take a well-balanced breakfast of eggs, bread, milo and cheese.

Dinner's freeplay - Sometimes I meet friends for dinner and sometimes I go home for dinner but I always ensure that my bedtime is at least 2 hours difference from my dinner. So despite me having extremely late dinner sometimes [like reaching home after midnight due to rehearsals] I would wash up, read some newspapers and listen to some lounge music either from my PC or from FM 99.5 Radio Station.

Hopefully with the additional free hours I can ensure that productivity gets maximised and reflected in my grades. I'm approaching my final year - I do sincerely hope that this sacrifice gets paid off.

Some friends have offered me recommendations to take some young kids for tuition, I'm still considering. Afterall I'm not sure I'd be a good teacher for I'm not strict by nature. I had the honour of coaching 2 brilliant students who would push themselves constantly and insisted on having me for their tuition instead of others for my classes are stress-free and I only guide them but I'd never push them. They're hardworking enough on their own. So if I were to be faced with an obnoxious and lazy student I might not be as effective as the other tuition teachers.

And this post is a perfect example of how unfocused I am for my flow has no specific purpose but has a more apparent impression of incoherent ramblings.





Perhaps I should take a holiday.