Faire naître des Cendres

Year 2004 is now a has-been.

People are welcoming the Year 2005 with higher hopes. Of course the arrival of the Economic Restructuring Shares [ERS] might have something to do with this recent optimism.

Somewhere in the quiet surburbs of Singapore a father is weeping. Weeping for the recent psychological phobia of his eldest daughter.

Like an answer to my recent query about the emotional detachment concerning the tsunami two incidents have happened exactly on 30th December right after I declared in my previous that I am not really having any direct feelings about the tsunami.

My Godpa's eldest daughter has returned from her honeymoon in Maldives. She and her huband have witnessed the tsunami right before their eyes. The waves swept and crashed into the 10th storey. They were on the 12th storey. They felt the tremors, they witnessed the horror as women and children were simply pulled away like a hand of god executing its wrath and death penalties.

She used to love swimming. Now she screams whenever she sees the sea. Her husband fared no better and if my interpretations are correct the husband underwent a session for hydrophobia treatment at NUH. They are recently busy with the sale of their new house which is situated along East Coast Road overlooking a nice seaview.

As I sat down on the bus seat [after I have left my dance studio] a sound on my right startled me. A greeting. I turned. To my surprise it was a man, caucasian, mid-thirties.

"Howdy mate, you speak english?" An Australian I presume.

We chatted and after a while I learned that he was an Ecologist. Major area of study - Tropical Rainforests in Asia. He was with a group of fellow research scientists in Phuket - holiday tour as well an inquisitive mood to study the rainforests of Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam.

He was the sole survivor.

As I was watched him speak, his nonchalant tone was betrayed by his lifeless glaze and the unconcious slur of words which usually hints of hopelessness, extreme disappointments or sadness.

Suddenly I felt a stirring, like an awakening as to why the tsunami is so deadly. Not in its path of physical destruction but by the unexpected merciless execution of the death penalty of family members, fellow friends and even close acquaintances. And most of these people were tourists who have probably signed their death warrants unknowingly up to 6 months beforehand. How appropriate, signing your own death warrant in the black and white format of a promise for fun and excitement 6 months before you realise what really awaits you.

I celebrated the countdown in a much more sombre mood.

As I accompanied some friends to Johore Bahru on yesterday night, I had a good tour of the nightlife of Johore Bahru. A friend had 'underground contacts' who became our tour guide for the night of 31st December.

In a nutshell, it is not the faint-hearted.

Temptations of vice, pills and robberies awaits you at almost every dark corner or alley. Even certain really popular discotheques are built in the midst of a half-destroyed building. People of gothic dressing or gangsters parade the rubble like a scene ripped from some horror gangster flick.

Suddenly I realise what a much more wonderful place Singapore is.

No that would not mean I have become more patriotic.

But it opened my windows of the soul which previously became choked with ashes accumulated from jaded experiences relating to work and personal matters.

So now I declare to all my friends who are still struggling with their daily troubles and little gritty details that plague and irritate them - Carpe Diem - From the ashes a rebirth.

Happy New Year Everyone. Enjoy this next 365 days.