Shamed
Past few days of the previous week had been madness, it was like Synergy Dance Camp + work overloads + Friday Dinner & Dance preparations + Saturday Dance Auditions all rolled into one big mess.
Helped out some good friends for their Dance Camp and while I say it had been pretty tiring for me, the fun and learning experiences had been totally priceless. Within those few days [including the chereo theory workshop I attended] I learnt about the aspects of maximising 'space' allocated on the dance stage. I learnt about the fundamentals of jazz preparations, the posse, the pas de bouree, lots of french terms which I'm still pretty fuddled about. I learnt about the core elements of social dance and how it specialised into the modern ballroom dance it is today which most people tend to relate it simply to ballroom tango and involving old aunties and uncles waltzing to slow music. Latin, Cuban, Salsa and Latin Cha-Cha are all ballroom dances as well or social dances to more exact.
A little note - Why it is considered social is because the steps are not funky or highly-charged energetic steps like Hiphop or Street Jazz but simply fast-paced turns and hip variations. And a lot of signal communcations. When I refer to signals they are hand and body signals, a simply flick of the hand on your partners can signal a turn, a push of on the flat of the palm can signal you're giving your partner room so you might be able to do a turn around her or she can twirl around you. Lots of signals to interpret within seconds so the "socialising" is extremely important. But for Hiphop and Street Jazz you can simply perform a one-man show or just co-ordinate movements as a group. Practise and self-styling is more important than actual socialising thats why such dances can be easily chereographed and practised as long as the group has sufficient time for lots of practise runs, despite group members not really liking each other. Not so for social dances.
Unconciously I began to devote lots of time into the Synergy Dance Camp and when I realised it was already Saturday and I had only slightly more than an hour to piece together the chereography I had created in between pockets of time during the Dance Camp. Together with the accumulation of factors like only 2 hours of sleep on Friday night, getting caught in the rain on my way to the audition, got the wrong address rushed to the correct address in the rain [again], half-drenched and cold and rushed through the registrations with only 10 minutes left, could not find a suitable spot to practise my chereography the last time, auditorium studio played the wrong song crashed together in a whirlwind of confusion and finally.. my nerves snapped. I froze during the initial stages of the chereography and my mind went completely blank. It was like an extremely horrible feeling where the the music played on and you stood there facing the judges' shock and puzzlement at you, for a dancer must never forget their own chereography. It's almost.... disgraceful.
What made it worse was the main judge was our very own HC [Uncle Pat] and he was very pissed off with me, all the attention and good expectations crashed when I screwed it up for my first formal audition. Words of criticisms with stinging truths and tips on how to prepare for a proper auditions only served to ehance the shame that was building up inside me. Felt like I had really disappointed him after the times he had helped to build up my style and sharpness and this mockery of a performance was what I could offer him in front of other judges. Was close to tearing after I left the auditiorium. Yes, I should have given more respect and priority to this auditiorium. So, if ever a next chance comes along, I wiLL make him proud.
Felt really really down so I dropped an SMS to some friends asking what they were doing at the moment. 'Eel' was the first to respond so I met up with her to accompany her to collect her tickets for a trip to Genting yesterday via some unknown company situated at Golden Mile Complex, the entire building and its tenants looked like a cut-out scene from any Shopping Centre in Thailand. Yes, sometimes just doing the simple can make you feel really happy. We simply met up for dinner, collected the travel tickets, chatted, walked and enjoyed the evening breeze but.. it was heavenly. We even talked about planning future group holiday trips with the rest of the group members if possible. And I'm looking forward to it already, not to mention we both discovered an interest in salsa and Latin after the dance camp.
Met up with Dan & Marie for some chill out in the later part of the night and we shared a bottle of red wine and chatted till late in a cafe with a beautiful lake view. Almost therapeutic.
Yes, I'm still relatively glad this weekend had ended on a better note. I just wish I could have 48 hours a day. So many things to do, so little time.
Helped out some good friends for their Dance Camp and while I say it had been pretty tiring for me, the fun and learning experiences had been totally priceless. Within those few days [including the chereo theory workshop I attended] I learnt about the aspects of maximising 'space' allocated on the dance stage. I learnt about the fundamentals of jazz preparations, the posse, the pas de bouree, lots of french terms which I'm still pretty fuddled about. I learnt about the core elements of social dance and how it specialised into the modern ballroom dance it is today which most people tend to relate it simply to ballroom tango and involving old aunties and uncles waltzing to slow music. Latin, Cuban, Salsa and Latin Cha-Cha are all ballroom dances as well or social dances to more exact.
A little note - Why it is considered social is because the steps are not funky or highly-charged energetic steps like Hiphop or Street Jazz but simply fast-paced turns and hip variations. And a lot of signal communcations. When I refer to signals they are hand and body signals, a simply flick of the hand on your partners can signal a turn, a push of on the flat of the palm can signal you're giving your partner room so you might be able to do a turn around her or she can twirl around you. Lots of signals to interpret within seconds so the "socialising" is extremely important. But for Hiphop and Street Jazz you can simply perform a one-man show or just co-ordinate movements as a group. Practise and self-styling is more important than actual socialising thats why such dances can be easily chereographed and practised as long as the group has sufficient time for lots of practise runs, despite group members not really liking each other. Not so for social dances.
Unconciously I began to devote lots of time into the Synergy Dance Camp and when I realised it was already Saturday and I had only slightly more than an hour to piece together the chereography I had created in between pockets of time during the Dance Camp. Together with the accumulation of factors like only 2 hours of sleep on Friday night, getting caught in the rain on my way to the audition, got the wrong address rushed to the correct address in the rain [again], half-drenched and cold and rushed through the registrations with only 10 minutes left, could not find a suitable spot to practise my chereography the last time, auditorium studio played the wrong song crashed together in a whirlwind of confusion and finally.. my nerves snapped. I froze during the initial stages of the chereography and my mind went completely blank. It was like an extremely horrible feeling where the the music played on and you stood there facing the judges' shock and puzzlement at you, for a dancer must never forget their own chereography. It's almost.... disgraceful.
What made it worse was the main judge was our very own HC [Uncle Pat] and he was very pissed off with me, all the attention and good expectations crashed when I screwed it up for my first formal audition. Words of criticisms with stinging truths and tips on how to prepare for a proper auditions only served to ehance the shame that was building up inside me. Felt like I had really disappointed him after the times he had helped to build up my style and sharpness and this mockery of a performance was what I could offer him in front of other judges. Was close to tearing after I left the auditiorium. Yes, I should have given more respect and priority to this auditiorium. So, if ever a next chance comes along, I wiLL make him proud.
Felt really really down so I dropped an SMS to some friends asking what they were doing at the moment. 'Eel' was the first to respond so I met up with her to accompany her to collect her tickets for a trip to Genting yesterday via some unknown company situated at Golden Mile Complex, the entire building and its tenants looked like a cut-out scene from any Shopping Centre in Thailand. Yes, sometimes just doing the simple can make you feel really happy. We simply met up for dinner, collected the travel tickets, chatted, walked and enjoyed the evening breeze but.. it was heavenly. We even talked about planning future group holiday trips with the rest of the group members if possible. And I'm looking forward to it already, not to mention we both discovered an interest in salsa and Latin after the dance camp.
Met up with Dan & Marie for some chill out in the later part of the night and we shared a bottle of red wine and chatted till late in a cafe with a beautiful lake view. Almost therapeutic.
Yes, I'm still relatively glad this weekend had ended on a better note. I just wish I could have 48 hours a day. So many things to do, so little time.
posted by Inarticulate at 9:12 AM
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